Au Temps d’Harmonie (La Joie de Vivre – Dimanche au Bord de la Mer), Paul Signac, 1895-96.
The Happiness Paradox
I have always found pursuing happiness as an end goal dangerous.
I don’t say that because I am a miserable, spiteful, and a lonely man, alienated from the very society I despise, or because I have hit a wall in finding redemption from scavenging through the fires of hell for knowledge, forbidden wisdom.
I say this because happy people terrify me.
How does one laugh so loudly that it echoes through this cosmic nothingness? How do they smile so warmly while the world around them burns?
How do they live with the angel of death and laugh at his dark, scornful face every day? How do they go on about life when they could cease to exist any second, and the sun would still rise brightly from the East?
It’s Madness!
Now, I am not talking about genuinely happy and fulfilled people.
Men of honor, courage, faith, and wisdom; women who nurture, make life worth living, and love infinitely; Those who drink of the cup of pure salvation—people who overcome life every day and have transcended ordinary existence.
I am talking about the people who think themselves happy but are truly as miserable as the troubled souls who have accepted their fates.
They don’t know that they are broken.
To think of oneself as happy, one must fit in and be everyone, not “Themselves.”
They have to offer a ritual sacrifice, a piece of who they could be, to the gatekeepers of earthly bliss.
Conformists!
They have to dance to the tune that their masters play. Don’t love thy neighbor, be better than them! Shop More! Don’t love the other, use them to elevate the self! Earn More! Be More!
Bow down to the loving God that will redeem you from yourselves!
Fight for the freedom to be your own slaves!
It’s all absurd!
I have to warn you! It’s like chasing the wind! Ask the Philosopher, David’s son!
He had everything one might ever need to be happy!
He says, “God has laid a miserable fate upon us.”
“I accomplished great things. I built myself houses and planted vineyards. I planted gardens and orchards with all kinds of fruits in them.
I dug ponds to irrigate them. I bought many slaves, and their slaves were born in my household.
I owned more livestock than anyone else who ever lived in Jerusalem.
I also piled up silver and gold from the royal treasuries or the lands I ruled.
Men and women sang to entertain me and had all the women a man could ever want.”
How many of us have been sold this path to a happy life and are treading it at the speed of light? Willingly? How many of us are already there but are more miserable than when we first started?
We know where it ends, yet we are in denial!
I’d be a hypocrite if I said I was not on the majority’s path!
But, tolerate me having a “Holier than thou” attitude for a minute here because while I am on that path, I know where it leads and the alternative. Most out there are unaware of the alternative path!
“And then,” declared the philosopher,
“I thought of all I had done and how hard I had worked doing it, and I realized that it didn’t mean a thing.
It was like chasing the wind- of no use at all.”
So what do we do with the empty, yawning chasm that haunts our very existence?
Do we accept our fate and end it all? Do we chase more land till we drop dead with cold blood of regret filling our mouths? Or do we stay away from it all?
The philosopher advises the youth to revere God and follow his ways, which I disagree with.
I disagree with this, not because I am among the accursed lot, but out of spite and contempt, for I can never have what the believers have: hope for a better tomorrow, an eternal life of bliss.
But I’d rather suffer and toil through the horrors of life and death than live in a fool’s paradise.
He also says to embrace the absurd and savor what life offers; eat your food, make love to your women, drink your wine, and enjoy life’s meaningless existence.
Wonder- An Antidote To A World Obsessed With Happiness
Wanderer above the Sea of Fog” by Caspar David Friedrich, 1818. Source: Wikipedia, File:Caspar_David_Friedrich_-_Wanderer_above_the_Sea_of_Fog.jpeg
And herein, the pursuit of wonder can help us embrace the absurd and stare straight into the abyss.
What is the Pursuit of Wonder, you ask? That is your question because once I tell you what it is, all meaning is lost. I don’t know the answer. What I do know is that:
Wonder is infinite.
Wonder is the unquenchable urge of water to overcome the hardest of substances without struggle; it gives in to the perpetual circle of life without an ounce of fear or struggle, it’s death nourishing life- It is the revitalization of the spirit of eros that is long-dead.
Love someone, get your heart ground to a crimson pulp, and then go out there and try it again!
Live dangerously!
This is where wonder lives.
Wonder is avoiding those who tame their monsters.
Walk among those who proudly walk their shadows in light, ready for battle at the blow of the horns.
It’s staring directly through the eyes of death, choosing life, and living it beautifully.
Wonder is taking what life throws at you without lamentations, bitter or sweet.
Be careful! The pursuit of wonder can also be poisonous.
Wonder isn’t enjoying suffering for the sake of it; it’s suffering for a cause, something greater than oneself. It isn’t a reason to break lovers’ hearts or go on meaningless conquests in pursuit of play.
Wonder is not the hedonistic lifestyle of the lotus eater.
In a nutshell, wonder is jumping into the abyss and having faith that your demons have laid a soft landing pad for you.
nmstephens